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sign jai 2013

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1 sign jai 2013 on Sat Aug 03, 2013 3:31 am

cuc oein


Harlem Bike Thieves
Harlem Bike Thieves
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, i hope you are all feeling very well and are enjoying the fine weather we have at this very moment in time, i have played in this league for 2 seasons never completing one whole season due to the incompetence of my teammates and the admin team. Season 2, Ricemen, we turned up on the opening day and took on a very strong fatality side and due to my eating my dinner (spaghetti Bolognese) we were basically 3v4, plus having Greddy in the team meant it was effectively 2v4, we lost 5-0 and we were off to the worst possible start. There was no lower for us, we were distraught at what had happened, we vowed to fight back and take this league through storm through hours of practice, of course that never happened but one night i was lying down and an angel came to me and said 'Jai you will be the best goalkeeper in Real Football one day' i laughed it off and said it was the coffee, but when we played our next game against Bantaholics, tensions were high as Bant was and is an utter bellend, i was determined to wipe that smile off his face behind his computer and set about controlling the game, i was a midfield genius, spraying the passes around and juking people for fun, i was on fire, i could see the headlines 'welsh lad Jai takes down cunt nig Bant' we were also having the better of them in the sledging department, winding them up till they were smashing their keyboards to smithereens, the score was close to a cricket score as even i scored to make it 8-0 i believe, two of their players rage quit and it felt great, we were off on our adventure, we played about 10 more games that season, having mixed results, mainly through never having a settled side >saturday games. But after every team taking a def win over us in the cup, i fought back and challenged them to play us, chipping away at their integrity, calling them cowards, we played them all and made it through to the next round, with no goals conceded. We were impregnable in the cup, a bastion of invincibility, no one could touch us because we knew we were the best team in RFL, but on that fateful day, Ricemen met Total Hax, 3v3/4v4/1v1 they would of likely wiped the floor with us, but this is Real Football, no walls, constant time wasting and the ability to undermine the referee at every decision he makes, it was bloody and brutal as we spammed for every ball. We were already on bad terms when in a league game a few games previous we were all over them, rising to the occasion like true warriors, piling into them and on the 15 minute mark, Karl was set through to a seemingly open net, we were delirious, shouting to each other on team speak, but then suddenly, the unthinkable happened, Karl missed, no one but Karl knows what truly happened that horrific day, did he lag? Did Mlfaijati slide tackle him? Is that even possible in this 3d game we all know and love, no one knows. Everyone was speechless, motionless as victory had been taken away from our grasp, the game then died down as no one could carry on because we were in hysterics, we all berated Karl for losing us the 3 points that we so dearly craved. So back to the cup, we're matching them blow for blow, blood sweat and tears going into every second of gruesome haxball, as the ball flies out for a goal kick, our inspirational captain 'lr16' types in 'p' about 3 times, did we lie? Did we stop because he said p? Or was it just an excuse for the catastrophic events that were about to unfold, they broke down the other end of the field only for me to make a vital interception and as 'bert' was about to make a simple pass that 99 out of 100 times it would go straight to one of our players, he fucked up and Total Hax scored the goal, any other game and we would of continued 'Its only rfl lol' but we were greatly aggrieved, how dare this happen to us? The events that unfolded after that are not pretty, i know that i look back on it with great despair, what were we doing? we took matters into our hands and took away the admin rights of Total Hax and the referee, furthermore banning the stupid referee twat, and running up the other end and scoring, it was level, game on, but Total Hax did not take it and quit the room and upon a huge Mlfaijati paragraph he argued for so long he won the decision and Ricemen lost their chance at glory, it cut me deep, i was so angry over a league that i took the piss out of at every opportunity, why? because when you invest real life time and energy into something and it doesn't go your way you should always be frustrated/annoyed/angry even, and i was, something so simple as pausing the game because we said 'p' was not able to be carried out, the decision didn't go our way and we rage quit basically, vowing never to ply our trade in the league again. You may be thinking to yourself right now, who banned the ref, it was bert, a single person did all that damage, a normally very nice person, a cutie in many peoples eyes, and he did all that reckless damage? So punish Bert, not us, but what did the admin team/Mlf do? punished us all for one persons actions, later on when the event had gone out of our heads and we were moving onto bigger and better things, Rooney1878 was banned for macroing in another league http://www.haxball-galaxy.co.uk/ (sign up to the free agency nubs) the image you are about to see is not for the faint hearted, i advise all squeamish and little kids to turn away immediately WTF MLF YOU PRICK???????????????????????????????? 'IT IS UNFAIR TO PUNISH A WHOLE TEAM FOR ONE INDIVIDUALS ACTIONS OMG LOL, but we had moved on, occasional jibes were made when the subject was brought up in passing conversation, but as far as we were all concerned RFL was shit tier and we wanted nothing more to do with it, i had not conceded a goal in the cup all the way through until the dubious goal named 'pause gate' was conceived, sad times, the only positive taken from that season was that i was voted Ricemens best player, and it was true, i carried them.

Season 3 is approaching, i use the website for an occasional troll, winding up Devinurdog or pissing off little kids like Wildey who is the biggest arselick in the world and kevin nolan who is just a retard lol, but i digress. The Bear Association had qualified into the Champions League and late at night on galaxy chat box, jiminy cricket needed a player for the competition, now there was me, lr16, bert and greedy, simple choice right? greddy me, after much arguing and kicking people from the chat jim was won round by my amazing charm and charisma, he saw me as the missing piece of the puzzle in the #TBA jigsaw, so after forcing me to promise not to troll i was enrolled into the squad and was ready to pit my wits against europes noobs who cant play normal hax so the play real football l0l0l0l0l0l, we played 3 games in the groups, easing through while looking cool at the same time, i was on top form, my goal was leading a charmed life through the whole tournament, and even when playing 'Pro Veterans' who went onto win the competition, we matched them and probably should of won if it wasnt for us playing on a shit poland host all game, we were flying, unbeatable and ready to take on whoever came at us until we had to play the last 16/quarter final it doesnt matter, i had football practice and had the opportunity to get back in time for the game, did i run back from town to make it? did i fuck, i dawdled back like the real gangster i am, and turned up 5 minutes into the game with us 1-0 down, catastrophic, we then had to chase the game because of our deficit and we couldnt recover, sad times as i firmly believe #TBA would of beaten europes shit tiers with ease with me in the goal, i was a pass master, the anchor, the creator of all our players, some called me a maverick, some called me a wanker, but it wouldnt stop me, i was heading for glory, the league season started and tbh i couldnt give a fuck, playing teams like eagles united isnt fun because they're fucking shit, but it made me look good and after disposing of them we met league runner ups and cup champions 'Fatality football club' 'football club wat?????????? we were ready to take them down, this was our chance, our time to let it be known to the rest of the league that we werent messing about, we won 4-0 with some of the sexiest real football ever seen, they couldnt live with us and the world was spreading that i was spearheading #TBA's challenge for the title, i was a marked man, every tactical talk from the other team involved me, 'man mark him' 'ddos him' 'get him banned off teamspeak so he cant get the game link' it was a nightmare, the papparazzi were also following me everywhere i went, i couldnt log into the site without people trying to throw me off my game by telling me to 'fuck off you fucking cunt twat' but i wouldnt let it get to me, i had my eyes solely on the prize and we were top of the league before the terrible game against some shit team i cant remember, i think it was pelicunts (lol) we played absolutely shite, the whole team could not pass to save its life and we were just being outfought in every department except my own because i am a god and the best rfl player ever to walk the world Cool i quit the team after that, i couldnt take the pain of playing with players who fucked up simple passes and 3v1 situations, my days of RFL were over and it is such a shame that this beautiful talent never got the chance to flourish with a team that knew how to pass, during my #TBA time the nations cup was taking place, the squad selection was tedious , minutes spent on teamspeak picking people who were shit at normal hax and thought they were good here (WITSEL LOL alien ) and the squad was decided, it was just a formality but i still felt a fair bit of pride that i had been selected as one of the best 12 players in the uk at real football, a few practice games later and i realised i couldnt play with shit tiers ever again, i had to seperate myself from the team and set up an eloborate ruse that i had family from the IRA and couldnt play for UK because of that, it was all a lie i just didnt want to hurt anyone by telling them they were shit @cadburys, so i quit the uk team, during that time i was the only player to play for the national team while not having a team in the league, shows how good i was/am/will be forever, i was considered the uk #1 by many just for the ability to be able to pass and know angles, it was great but since then i have lost my hatred for this site and its players, we were all there once right? shit and couldnt pass @hulk, so i will take pity on you and let me sign you for my team and i will help you to get better at this game (joke) i dont want to play for anyone but the best, i have rejected offers from dream catchers/hyper fulham lol gaaaaaaaaay, pelicunts (lol) and swag city, french twats. so you see, i need the best, i think i am currently in a team, but i didnt accept to anything so who knows, but all i ask is, 4 words, 4 mighty words that will change the world 'play for us jai' and providing the offer was right i would jump at the chance to play alongside your players, dont be scared, i wont reject you too harshly if your offer sucks, i'm a nice guy deep down

i dont know why i started this thread now, i cant even remember starting it i think it was last night, but yes, hello, i cant make game days, i will not practice, i will bad mouth your team at every oppurtunity but who doesnt want a loveable benchwarmer like me? everyone wants me, see you on the turf lads xxxxx

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2 Re: sign jai 2013 on Sat Aug 03, 2013 3:32 am

get a life woooooooooooooow

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3 Re: sign jai 2013 on Sat Aug 03, 2013 3:33 am

Witsel


Administrator & DreamCatchers Captain
Administrator & DreamCatchers Captain
i fucking love you

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4 Re: sign jai 2013 on Sat Aug 03, 2013 3:34 am

Jamie


Swag FC
Swag FC
Wot

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5 Re: sign jai 2013 on Sat Aug 03, 2013 3:38 am

cuc oein


Harlem Bike Thieves
Harlem Bike Thieves
this was the best post i've ever done

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6 Re: sign jai 2013 on Sat Aug 03, 2013 3:48 am

emile fai


Admin & Harlem Bike Thieves
Admin & Harlem Bike Thieves
FUCKING CHUCKLE BROTHERS THREAD.













FUK ME I HAD TO EDIT BECAUSE I DID A LINK FROM GOOGLE GARFDSC

2 MUCH SWAG

DONT H8 ME COZ U AINT ME

YOLO

SWAG



WOW THIS POST WENT OFF TRACK



THATS BETTER



WHAT



WHAT



WHAT

:barri: chuckle



FUCK THIS THREAD, IM OUT

NO REGRETS

oh dear oh dear


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mlf and ren a* chem snm

CYA SAMUEL

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7 Re: sign jai 2013 on Fri Aug 16, 2013 1:22 am

Witsel


Administrator & DreamCatchers Captain
Administrator & DreamCatchers Captain
minutes spent on teamspeak picking people who were shit at normal hax and thought they were good here (WITSEL LOL alien )

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8 Re: sign jai 2013 on Fri Aug 16, 2013 1:59 am

Guest


Guest
did anyone actually read this all

9 Re: sign jai 2013 on Fri Aug 16, 2013 2:33 am

Forever 9 Years Old

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Ragnarok Captain
Ragnarok Captain
Jai y am i retard , and sheep shagger pls


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10 Re: sign jai 2013 on Fri Aug 16, 2013 2:57 am

Tl;dr


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